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gran torrino

Inferno and I were at a loose end after having a crappy pub lunch so we decided to stuff this one in the DVD player. Its been out for a while and I thought it looked cool in the trailers, so I was rather optimistic… after all, how often is it that Clint Eastwood fails to deliver?

Grand Torrino is the story of an old Korean war vet by the name of Walter Wakowski, played by Eastwood. At the start of the film, we realise he has just said goodbye to the only thing he ever gave a damn about, his loving wife. It doesnt take him long to realise that he is surrounded by a world that has changed since the glory days of the 50’s. His family are a bunch of stuck up, self obsessed shit wipes and the local neighbourhood is running down hill faster than Steven Hawkin with a broken wheelchair. A family of Vietnamese has moved in next door to him and constantly seem to erk him by just existing. Soon however he finds himself helping the young son from next door from falling into the trap of getting involved with a gang. He “reluctantly” befriends his neighbours and finds that, for all their differences, they are more like the old ways than most white Americans these days. After his “unique” getting to know you phase, Walt actually quite takes to the young lad who he first meets as he is trying to steal Walts car, a ford Gran Torrino. He helps him find work and generally pushes him on his way to becoming a man… He also rubs the local Vietnamese gang up the wrong way when they try to take young Tao into their gang, he shoves his US Army issue M1 Grand into their faces and blurts out a stak of well thought out racist slurs and threats. The more he gets to know his new friends, the deeper he gets into this new trouble, but it all seems to make him feel more alive than he has since the glory days!

Now this wasn’t the film I was expecting… I thought it was gonna be a out and out vengence movie, with old Clint doing the Dirty Harry Shtick one more time for the road. But instead this movie is a sort of tale of how urban life has changed in the US and how some of that change is good but most however is for the worse. Walter is a symbol for the old America, failing to move with the times, but still has something to teach the new America.

There is no real action in this film at all really, but Eastwood seems to hold your attention non the less. He maybe in his 70’s now but he can still do that grizzly “you better think twice before messing with me” lines with recless abandon.

For me it was missing a sort of “Big moment” a “stand alone scene” that you will always remember… maybe that’s for the good but none the less it could have done a little more.

Verdict: 7/10

Not what I expected, there is life in the old dog yet.

The Changeling

Clint Eastwood just doesn’t know when to quit, and unlike say Nic Cage in a good way. Not content with being one an onscreen acting legend he has taken it upon himself to become one of the best damned directors around. Seeing as the weepy, ‘I wanna thank gawd’, insincere, fake, pretentious (you can tell I’m not a huge fan!) ceremony that is the Oscars is almost upon us I decided to take it upon myself to have a look at one of the hopefuls. And this one gets a sort of shoulder shrug and apathy yes we have the legend Clint Eastwood overseeing affairs but then it does star Angelina Jolie who for me has yet to put in a performance of any note. Can she deliver under the gravelly voiced guidance of good ‘Ol Clint?.

Well before that we have to get round to the premise and like I say at first glance it seems the type of true story T.V. movie that your mum would lap up. Angelina Jolie is a single parent and one day her son is abducted after weeks of searching the LA police say they have found said lad alive and well and she is re-united in front of the press with the kid. But she sees right away that this is not her boy, and the protests fall on deaf ears as the police riddled with corruption dare not admit they made a mistake. As a result she is ridiculed to the point of being thrown in a mental institution but with the help of a local preacher (John Malkovich) she fights for her name to be cleared and to find out the true fate of her son.

Like I say any movie with such a run of the mill plot is going to have to have something extra ordinary in the reserve tanks to make it special and thankfully there is plenty to rave about here. The cast without exception are excellent and Aneglina Jolie at last shows us why we should pay attention to seeing her name on a poster. Her journey from wholesome all American mother to a determined and optimistic champion of the people is amazing to watch from start to finish. The scene to watch out for me is when she come face to face with her sons alleged killer moments before he is executed. John Malkovich is on top form as well as at the start we think he is one of those ranting radical evangelicals we see on the news so much and as the story develops he become the anchor of the movie. A special shout must go to Jeffery Donovan as the sleazy police captain doing everything in his power to ridicule the central character. Another we must mention Jason Butler Harner with a brilliantly creepy and chilling performance as a mass child murderer.

And as for Clint? well he delivers the goods yet again as he seems to take a very ordinary story and turn into something utterly compelling to watch, this is a director who gets the best out of actors and makes every frame a work of art. This film is direct and powerful and should please anyone watching as it has something for everyone. Also worth mentioning that the direction in terms of realising LA in the 20’s is a real visual treat. The only place I could deduct marks for is sometimes the acing can be a bit pedestrian but then i would just be looking for cracks.

Rating: 8.5 / 10

No punnery needed for what was a great film to close 2008 on.

Kelly’s Heroes

While pissed in the depths of Hogmany (that’s new years eve to you non Scottish out there) me and my mates decided it would be a good idea to shove on an old fave of mine… Kelly’s Heroes.

Kelly’s Heroes is the Story of a bad boy, Kelly (played by Clint Eastwood). He gets a captured Nazi Colonel drunk and manages to get him to divulge a secrete about where a horde of Nazi gold is being kept. The Germans are on the back foot but unfortunately for Kelly, the gold is still behind enemy lines. Kelly is disgruntled with the army after being demoted from Lieutenant down to Private for not following orders… he decides to go AWOL and claim the $16 million hall of gold for himself but in order to do this he must recruit a team of others into the plot.

This team includes such greats as Donald Sutherland as the iconic “Oddball” Commander of a small tank unit that leads a hippy type lifestyle and seems almost as interested in positive karma as he is in the gold he’s after. Also “Big Joe” (Telly Savalas) as the ever opinionated, shouty, Sargent in charge of a crack infantry unit.

In their struggle to get the gold, they soon realise that in order to get their hands on it, they are gonna have to take on the full might of the German war machine.

Now you may think… “Christ, does this guy love war movies or something?” And my answer would have to be… “Why yes, what the fuck is your problem with that? You some kind of pansy, peace loving, hippy, homo?” And as far as I am concerned this movie is up there with some of the greats… Although it is in no way based on true events (except for the war… I’m not a holocaust denier or something), but due to that it gives the script a little leeway for some light humor which goes down a treat.

The best part of this film is the end battle when the gang have to take the small town where the gold is kept. They are out numbered, outgunned and the Germans have superior tanks. Does this stop the lads from having a bash? That’s as likely as Telly Savalas sporting a ginger mullet! In fact this scene is so well directed that if you watch the end of Saving Private Ryan, I believe you will see more than one or two similarities.

As for the Screen greats… Eastwood, Savalas and Suterland all in one movie? In terms of war movies, that’s as cool as Jesus, Allah, Buddha and Mr T coming to a poker night round your house and bringing the cigars! As much as I loved Eastwood in Where Eagles Dare, even he is out acted here by Donald Sutherland’s lovable portrayal of the slightly insane tank commander.

Verdict: 8/10
Quote of the movie: Stop giving out those negative waves baby!

War… Huh! What is it good for? Well giving people stuff to make movies about apparently!

WHERE EAGLES DARE

Me and my flatmate Andy were sitting bored out of our tiny little minds when we realized that there was a war film in our collection that we hadn’t watched for donkeys years. So I made the awesome effort to get off the couch and crawl over to the D.V.D. player. I tell you I felt like a commando right there and then.

The film follows an elite team of British deep cover agents, sent into the heart of Germany to carry out a top secret mission to royally fuck up the Germans. Nice one! The British team is lead by Major Johnathon Smith… A classy British name eh? Played by Richard Burton. He and his men are also accompanied by an American agent by the name of Lt Morris Schaffer, played by the ever steely eyed Clint Eastwood. The mission they are sent on is so damn top secret that you don’t even find out what it really is until two thirds of the way through the movie. And when it comes, boy its a genius piece of plot twisting that would leave the writer of Usual Suspects clapping in awe like a fish eyed spastic.

The team have to break into a massive heavily fortified castle situated on top of a mountain in Bavaria. They find ingenious ways to sneak there way in undetected, but its how they storm out of the place once they are rumbled that truly sets this film apart. The movie was made in 1968, and for it’s time the quality of the plot twists and story telling is truly astonishing. It’s one of those movies that may be on late night TV sometime and if you start watching it at 1 am in the morning, you will find yourself fending off the sandman with an imaginary MP-40 (thats one of those cool looking Nazi machine guns to you) in order to see it all the way through to the end.

Also the acting is pretty good too, especially from Eastwood, he plays the cold calculated commando so well that you really believe he could shoot his way though the whole third rich without blinking. Burton is good, if not a little too old to be playing the roll he has. The German officers are the usual affair of smarmy, cocky twats, that love to start shouting by the time they reach the end of a sentence. One of them actually has a monocle on… QUALITY!

The only bad things about the film really is its a little dated, so the special effects let it down sometimes, but as its old, we can easily forgive it of this. Look out for the orange blood and the scenes where its snowing when one guy is talking, then in another shot it seems to be calm again.

The last 3rd of this movie is truly worth the build up, as the chase scene just leaves you piecing together more and more of what was going on earlier. Even the final scene has a twist that you didn’t see coming.

Verdict: 8/10 If all our soldiers were as crafty as this, we would have kicked Hitlers arse into touch in 3 days flat!

Shows us all that plot twists were not invented by M Night Shyamalan after all… Thank god, because hes a fucking prick!!!