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Society

Another spin back into the ’80s here as I take a look at a cult movie that if you have seen, you will never ever forget and that’s a promise!. Along with McFlee I’ve also been a lazy fecker past week and when my SKY program guide showed that this was on Zone Horror I just knew it was time to get nostalgic all over again. I will say that for a movie with such an incredible reputation it goes unnoticed by so many so if you want to see a move with a real of the wall twist then look no further.

Basic premise is that 80’s teen idol Billy Warnock plays Bill Whitney the stereotype popular jock at a rich Beverly Hills suburb type neighbourhood. But he just doesn’t fit in with his vain, artificial family and neighbours and feels that things are not what they seem. Indeed there is not as he founds out what the highest tier of society is actually all about.

Yes I know I am going very light on plot and for damn good reason any more plot details and it will ruin what along with Oldboy rates as one of the most shocking and OTT climaxes to a movie ever believe me if you are new to this movie its a twist the likes of which may never be equalled. The main meat of the movie isn’t really that great and plods along but this is where the whole is much better than the parts. Where most horror movies doddle along with jabs of shock thrown in at regular intervals this one saves it all for the climax so if you start watching and your mind wonders then stick in there as its worth it.

Like I say I am having to be light on details as to avoid spoiling it for you good people. But another thing to point out is the dark humour on display throught which is masterfully written in. The movie has dated as its over 20 years old and it does play on very 80’s themes but they do transplant well to modern day (the obsession with celebrity).  But this is a true cult classic that any movie fan should familiarise themselves with.

Rating : 8/10

Don’t stick your nose up at this one.

The Cottage

A film with Jennifer Ellison from Brookie? Must be shite, eh? Maybe worth watching just for her Bazookas. Let me tell you why ‘The Cottage’ is more than just eye candy.

David and Peter are brothers. Peter(Reece Shearsmith from League of Gentlemen) is a neurotic, hypochondriac who wants nothing more than his brothers share of the family home. David(Andy Serkis), the bad apple, offers his half of the house, if Peter will help him with an extortion job he has planned. They kidnap a local Crime Boss’ daughter Tracey(Ellison) and hold her for ransom. It quickly becomes obvious who has the upper hand in the scenario when Tracey repeatedly headbutts Peter, breaking his nose.

Paul Andrew Williams fuses two types of movie here: The first half of the film takes place almost exclusively in the titular cottage; a place in the country where they take the kidnapped girl. Featuring much bumbling as the ransom plan unravels into farce.
The second half of the movie takes us into the slasher horror genre, with a Psycho killer on the loose in the surrounding countryside collecting trophy heads and storing them in his shed.

Overall, the film is a very Dark Black comedy. Making a joke out of the bloodiest, goriest deaths. It gels the two different movie styles with seamless ease and gives us the best of both worlds.

Andy Serkis continues to impress upon us the fact that he is much more than the voice of Gollum, as the loyal brother who wishes he’d never involved Peter in any of his plan. He throws a fit as he watches the disintegration of a finely made plan through the incompetence of his accomplices.
Steve O’Donnell plays the gormless Andrew who is the source of much of the fury, making his spectacular, if familiar, death scene all the more rewarding.

The characters may be two dimensional stereotypes, but this film isn’t about developing a conscience, it’s plain all-out fun and games.
Peter is the only one with an arc at all as he develops a back-bone in the final scenes. Shearsmith’s face says it all as he transforms from a mouse into a man.
Even Jennifer Ellison comes out of this movie with a bit of respect. Her thick Liverpool accent perfect for the abuse she hurls at her captors.

If you’re looking for a chuckle and a scream while you chew your popcorn, then you’ll love this. Watch out for the very long running joke about Andrew’s new haircut. It’ll make sense in the end.

Verdict 8/10
Good honest fun; Severed heads and all.
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In a first for our humble blog I have been given the privilege of reviewing a movie that has not been released anywhere yet. This is Aberdeen director Mark Stirton’s follow up to his brilliantly inventive Sci-Fi/Horror from 2006, The Planet. If you have watched the planet the actors will be very familiar with Patrick Wight as Andy the owner of an Aberdeen Removal company Andy removals who is assisted by Ronnie (Scott Ironside).

The film starts with Andy and Ronnie on their way to do a simple job for the day but things start going wrong when they accidentally run some-one over as their journey across Aberdeenshire continues they keep knocking off more and more innocents in freakish and hilarious circumstances. So a movie like this is dependant on the 2 leads and boy do they put on a show. Scott and Patrick have an amazing chemistry and the insults and arguments flow so naturally between them it is a joy to watch.

Now some people may point to the fact that being in Doric most people won’t follow it but on the contrary the doric adds to it and in any other dialect some the arguments would not sound anywhere near as funny as they do. This movie is a joy to watch and there are so many scenes that stand out if i was to describe them to you I would end up just writing out the whole script.

The direction is once again superb and they have made a stunning job of filming Aberdeen and the surrounding area it is refreshing to see that not all Scottish cities in movies are not slums with junkies and alcoholics living in poverty.

This is not just a good low budget Scottish movie, or a good Scottish movie it is an Excellent movie . It ranks for me as one of the funniest things I have ever watched in my life you will be laughing so loud all the through this film that you may need a defib if it gets too much for you. As Scottish movies goes this sets new , dizzying heights for the film industry here showing what can be done with hard work. Mark and Company we salute you !

Verdict 10/10

Brilliant, just brilliant. A riotous, hilarious comedy that deserves every success coming its way.

Now even some of the most dedicated movie goers will be hard placed to remember this one. I stumbled upon this late one Saturday night, broke waiting for payday and channel surfing round the delights f terrestrial free view. ITV4 was screening some movies as part of their ‘poison season’ (hey its ITV4) and at about midnight this came on and i thought I’ll give it 5 minutes. The five minutes turned into the length of the movie.

The film concerns a group Liberal student housemates and one Sunday night when Pete (Ron Eldard) out of kindness picks up a man, Zack (Bill Paxton) who’s pick up truck has broken down. Pete invites him back to the house for a bit of dinner and during the dinner they find that Zack holds some extremist views and fight breaks out resulting in the death of Zack. After Zack’s death they discover that Zack was a man wanted for child abuse and then Jude (Cameron Diaz) suggests that they have done a good thing and have in fact saved some lives. The housemates then hatch a plan to invite people of ultra right wing opinions to their house for sunday dinner and try to convert them, if they fail then they are poisoned. Against this is a dyed in the wool Neo Con running for president Norman Arbuthnot (Ron Perlman) who we see on the TV screen throughout and who’s views disgust the housemates and then in a chance meeting he is invited round in the climax of the film with some interesting results.

The strengths in this movie are firstly the cast Bill Paxton at his best as a creepy military nut, Ron Perlman plays the Neo-con to perfection and Cameron Diaz is a revelation as the scheming leader of the house. Another noticeable mention goes to Courtney B Vance as Luke who starts to become more intent on just killing the guests than offering them any chance of reprieve. A very dark shade of black humour is present throughout this feature and the satire is biting showing that no matter which side f the great political/moral divide that the methods employed by both are pretty much the same. The dinner scenes themselves are packed fully of snappy dialogue. And the use of tomatoes as a plot device signalling the housemates rapid descent is another masterstroke.

This is well worth tracking down , a great cast and smart script well executed as well as a fulfilling ending make this another forgotten classic worth remembering and adding to your DVD collection.

Rating 9/10 : From the movie : What if you kill somebody whose death makes the world a better place??

Trailer:

Buy The DVD on amazon here